


The Phone

by O_san



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: GTOP, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:00:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4655307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/O_san/pseuds/O_san
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, when they fight like this, Jiyong wishes he could change into something that Seunghyun always bring everywhere. Something that couldn’t speak, something that he religiously looks whenever he has a break, something that might be more important than him.</p>
<p>His fucking phone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1 : Kwon Jiyong

_Hello_

_It’s not easy, you’re busy_

_You wonder why you have to go this far_

_There’s so many damn things they want  You want a break_

_It’s so noisy_

_It’s all so annoying, right?_

_Wanna go home, right?_

_(You are home)_

_But you want to go home_

**Zion T – Eat**

In Jiyong’s world, nothing is more exciting than being with Seunghyun.

They’ve been together exclusively since the day they both realized that their kisses was more than a brotherly affection and even with their totally different personalities, Jiyong is still sure that there will be no one else. It will always be Choi Seunghyun for him.

But there are times when the older man suddenly stops talk to him. He just sits on his couch, glass of wine on his hand, listening to those sappy old songs, serious face activated and just ignoring him like he’s not there. Jiyong, _trying his best to be a good partner_ , **sometimes** understand. But most of the time, he can’t help it but _make a scene_ because no matter how many times he has been through this hideous period of Choi Seunghyun, **he still can’t get it**.

The older man said it is his recharging time. It’s like a phase when the outside world makes him too worn out.  In simple word, he needs to be alone. And Jiyong seriously is forcing himself to fucking get it but **why** in the world **that man** needs to charge? He’s human, not ipad.

Jiyong groans in frustration as he opens his second beer while secretly expecting a sympathetic pat on his shoulder from the one that sit right beside him now. But **no** , nothing happens. So, he takes a glance on his right to find Seungho’s eyes still glue on that TV’s screen.

So he groans even more with a little sigh on the side. But god is totally playing with him tonight. This friend, _the one that always listens_ , strangely gives him another silence treatment too.

“ You do know that I come here so you could comfort me, don’t you?”

Just like Jiyong isn’t there. He turned the volume up. But he is not Jiyong if he’s not keep pushing until he gets what he wants. “ So Seunghyun just decided two hours ago that he won’t come out with me- “

Seungho stands up from the couch, looking around at his kitchen to grab some snack. Jiyong bites his bottom lips while giving him questioning look.

“ He prefer being a statue rather tha-“ 

Seungho falls back to his couch with chips on his hand. Purposefully crunching his chips in exaggerated way so even Jiyong could hardly hear his own voice. Jiyong is still in awe and only could glare at him in judge, never in his life he feels this unwanted until tonight. Two special people in his life are just fucking abandoning him.

Therefore, he pouted.

After 5 minutes of silence, Seungho gives up and finally looks at him for the very first time since he got to his apartment. “ I do love you, you know that right?”

Jiyong nodded.

“ But, seriously Jiyong. Why you both always have to fight whenever ANTM is on?”

Just before Jiyong could protest how insensitive the other man is, his stylish friend already has his breakthrough from his no-word world in very full force level. “ And beside that, don’t you think it’s enough time for you to finally realize that it’s simply Seunghyun being Seunghyun and your insecurity that he might not want you anymore is just you being the idiot you?”

“ I’m not-“

“ Kwon fucking Jiyong. He always comes back. You know that much.”

And with that, Jiyong surrender.

 ---

Sometimes, when they fight like this, Jiyong wishes he could change into something that Seunghyun always bring everywhere. Something that couldn’t speak, something that he religiously looks whenever he has a break, something that might be more important than **_him_**.

His fucking phone.

\---

When he said he wants to be Seunghyun’s phone. It’s seriously just him being silly possessive boyfriend without having slightly desire for it to be fucking real. But maybe because he’s Kwon Jiyong, God chooses to make it come true.

 So he wakes up the next morning, expecting still laying in Seungho’s sofa or the very worst scenario, at the bathroom’s floor because he quite remembers he did puke his guts out before went back to sleep last night but… never this.

He could only see white at first. So just like every sane person, he’s freaking out. He thought he went blind but as soon as he realized that he can’t feel his own body anymore, he cried so hard on his mind until he finally grasp something. It is a ceiling that he's so familiar with.

The lamp. The surfaces. The color.

 “ What time is it?”

As soon as he hears that heavy voice, everything just makes sense again.

Jiyong is a smart kid. He should be panic now. The fact that he doesn’t have a clue how to go back to his own body is already worrying. And if it’s really going to be permanent, Big Bang will go down real hard. He already could imagine Seungri’s face as he heard the news that Jiyong is missing. He would hate him for life.

But somehow, rather than being in terror, he felt relieve.

When Seunghyun is on his mood. The absent of that man on his life isn’t what bothered him the most. Yes, he is needy but he’s not a woman. He could entertain himself good enough, thank you very much.

The rejection.

Seunghyun never ask him to leave but the way he never looks at him or how he flinched whenever Jiyong touches him. It’s unbearable. It makes the little man felt so useless.

So finally, when he gets the chance to be useful for his lover when the man is on that state. He can’t help but being pleased.

\---

His boyfriend is seriously obsessed with his phone.

Or **Jiyong** now.

He touched it possessively everywhere. Even Jiyong felt a slightest jealousy towards his recent body. It takes Jiyong 2 years to let himself join Seunghyun in bathroom but this fucking phone, he stays right on his hand even when he take shit.

He doesn’t do much, though.

He started his day to check his Instagram. Surprisingly, he read all the comments from his fans. And then he takes a picture of his apartment, or the furniture he just bought, or saving artsy picture on google. He uploaded some of his favorites to his Instagram in the evening. Sometimes, he’s thinking hard to make a caption but then after three minutes of having nothing, he gives up and just uploads it without caption.

It itched Jiyong’s heart the most when he realized that his lover never bothers to check on him.

The sun is on his way to back to his hiding but not even once Seunghyun take a look on his inbox or any messaging application that **_if Jiyong isn’t in this condition_** , surely his name would pop out a lot on those applications. 

But then, Seunghyun is just being Seunghyun. He knows how to lighten up his lover’s mood in a second. He does what he does best after rap. Taking selfies.

He makes funny faces in every possible way funny faces could exist. Jiyong would grin so brightly if he actually _capable_ to do that.

A nostalgic feeling is slowly creeping up to his virtually chest. It’s been a long time since he could look at the face of his lover in easy. These days, both of them are so busy they rarely have their own time anymore.

Fifteen minutes of Seunghyun’s selfies activity, Jiyong realized that there are things that never change. Years of having relationship with this man, breaking and making up for many times, Jiyong is still in love with his eyes the most.

But then when Seunghyun changes it to video mode and rapping to himself on the screen, he is rethinking his decision. His voice is his favorite surely. As he heard the beautiful lyric, he changes his answer again until he gives up and just accepts that he just love the man completely.

The older man stops his rapping now. He looks at himself for the longest time. Jiyong could hear his virtual heart beat faster of being nervous to be looked at like that. He knows it’s stupid but still.

However, as soon as some tears are running down at Seunghyun’s cheeks.

Everything felt so fucking wrong.

\---

He never eats.

He just keeps drinking. Bottle after bottle like a mad man waiting for his death.

He lay down on the center of the room, searching for the coldness of his synthesis wood floor. His eyes felt so empty but he stubbornly, keep playing with his phone. He swipes it up and down like searching for something.

He gives up and throws his phone in anger. Jiyong is in darkness but after 5 minutes, Seunghyun takes the phone again.

He sits on his couch, knees on his chest and starting to do what he did all day. Playing with his phone like crazy.

It scared Jiyong to death because he never knew **_this_** Seunghyun.

The worst thing Seunghyun ever done to him was giving him no reaction no matter how much Jiyong begged him to act. But this, this is Seunghyun on the edge of his sane world and he couldn’t do anything.

Not even a hug.

Or assuring words that he’s here.

\---

But, finally he found a way to communicate. He just discovers that he could control the phone. He could look at the files, he could choose the new wallpaper, he simply could do anything that a phone capable of.

So as soon as Seunghyun goes to sleep on his couch. He tried to find a way to make the older man feels better. At first he thinks something easy like changing the wallpaper into motivational quotes from the older man’s favorite rapper but then, he realized that it’s more into creepy side than romantic one.

Because no one wants to have a phone that could change it’s own wallpaper. At least, not in this era.

So he needs to find something that less frightening. Something that could happen with Seunghyun’s unintended touch.

But still carrying the message that **he’s not alone**.

That **he loves him**.

\---

An hour of searching through his boyfriend’s file, he finally could smile.

He fucking **got** it.


	2. PART 2: CHOI SEUNGHYUN

_I miss you_

_I like you a lot_

_I want to hug you more_

_Love, love, it’s like love_

_Maybe I really love you_

**Zion T – Eat**

** **

Seunghyun wakes up from his sleeps as he heard the song that he rarely listens in loop. He must accidently touch his phone, he thought. It takes another minutes for him to remember what song is it.

It was one of Jiyong’s gifts to him from their exchanging love-song game. Each month, both of them have an obligation to give a love song to each other and it only has one rule, your own song isn’t allowed.

Usually, Jiyong gave him a western one while Seunghyun, because of his old soul, diligently digging up his dad’s old play-list that his old man used on his mom back then.

Originally, this game was made because of their inability to be honest to each other. They found it easier to talk through music than words but Jiyong sometimes, butchered this supposed romantic game once in a while.

Like this one song.

It was one of the Korean songs that he gave to him. The song itself is good and has very meaningful lyrics but he knows Jiyong too much that as soon as he saw the title of the song, he knew the man only want to mock him on his recent motto that ghost doesn’t _eat_.

He lets the music on.

_I miss you._

As he heard those words, he finds himself really is missing Jiyong. After Tazza 2, he finally could find himself one more time and just like that, Seunghyun decided to pursue Jiyong again and promised him that their relationship will be so much better than before.

And he did fulfill his promise.

He gave Jiyong an affection that the other man always craved on every appropriate occasion. He posted lots and lots of their thing on instagram. He tried his best to make Jiyong happy. He did whatever he could to prove that it will work out this time.

Jiyong smiles a lot these days and Seunghyun is sure that he’s really going on the right track but then shit is always happen when things are going well.

He gets tired from all the concert and activities. People make him anxious. The demands from all directions slowly kill him. He couldn’t find his own axis anymore. And no matter how much he hates to put Jiyong on the same thing again, he couldn’t stay away from what he really is.

He needs this.

\---

Another hour and for the very first time, Jiyong officially has ignored him for a day. Rather than being concerned of his needs to be alone, he literally scared as shit that maybe his lover has given up on him now.

It never occurred to him, until now, that he never is the role that waiting or the one that starts the conversation.

It always is Jiyong.

Not because he doesn’t want to but he just doesn’t now what to do. Because isn’t it so pitiful to ask forgiveness for being **_himself_**?

\---

His heart is aching real hard now.

Jiyong really is leaving him for real now. He sent him almost 20 messages now. He called him over and over again but no one picks it up. What makes him more worried that no one knows where Jiyong is. Even Seungho, the last person that saw him thought that his friend was already on Seunghyun’s.

_Where the hell are you, Kwon Jiyong?_

He stepped into his balcony and lit his cigarette on. He couldn’t ever understand Jiyong and his dramatic way of living. “ Ya, you fool” he shout at cold skies, “ Why you has to make everything so fucking complicated? The one that should always disappeared is me! Not you!”

He kept rant on and on until he’s out of his breathe. How in the worl-

**“ Idiot Turtle”**

_The fuck._

**“ Right on your hand.”** He looked down to his phone and gives him a confused look. **“ I might sound robotic but I am Jiyong.”**

Is he really gone mad? He’s only on his alone time for a day and he gone mad?

**“ I know it sounds crazy. But I’m not your Siri. I am Kwon Jiyong. “**

He put his phone right in front of his eyes, “ I just updated an OS. It might some kin-“

The voice won’t even let him finishes his sentence. **“ For fuck’s sake, Choi Seunghyun. Should I named your favorite pokemon creature from 1 – 100 so you could believe me?”**

_Fuck, even with the monotone voice, nothing could pull that bitchy act better than Jiyong._

He coughed so he could grasp of himself for a little bit. So from this situation, he made a conclusion that his lover is somewhat trapped into his phone. “ How? And When? And fuck- do you even know how to go back?”

**“ Fuck no. Since this morning and yeah I have no idea.”**

This morning? _He saw it._ He saw how awful Seunghyun could be. No one should ever witness those hideous sides of him. No one-

**“ Even with the song that I played for you, you still don’t understand, huh?”**

He gives him another confused look.

**“ I won’t go anywhere, you bastard.”**

\---

He sat on his balcony’s floor now, still looking on his phone in awe.

There was a time when Jiyong obsessed with _Her_ movie that he fantasized this but never in his 29 years old, he expected this.

“ Should I bought ukulele now and sings to you?”

Failed robotic snorted sound before, **“ You _should_. You should serenade me with all the love songs in the world. I _deserve_ that much.”**

The bitchiness of his voice makes Seunghyun chuckled. This is why he loves this man or _phone on this case_ so much. He acted like a mature man on the outside but he’s simply just a petulant child. And everyone knows how Seunghyun loves child.

Jiyong remained silent until Seunghyun stopped laughing.

**“ Can I ask you something?”**

He hummed in agreeable tone. “ Spit it out.”

**“ Why you need this alone time? You were in pain as far as I know. “**

He is simply wordless now. Actually, he never really thinks over it until now. From all he knows, yes indeed he’s always in pain whenever he’d done that but it’s already becoming his habit since the day he could think on his own. But knowing Jiyong and how he reacted when he gets no answer, he needs to find a way to explain this.

“ You know,” not even sure if it’s the right thing to say but, whatever, “ there are times when you take a break from a smoke just for the sake of having all that first experience over again. How good it felt when the first nicotine strikes you.”

He sighed before continues to explain his admittedly weird metaphor, “ It felt almost the same. Of course, I’m in pain but it’s like I’m resetting my self. So when I come back, I’m back with a blank slate. I got the **_excitement_** back.”

With that, Seunghyun ended his statement while Jiyong is still on his silence mode.

**“ I still find it weird but at least, I understand now.”**

He stayed silent. It felt unfinished.

**“ I understand how much you need this. But there is one thing that you need to understand too, Choi Seunghyun.”** Another beat of silences, **“ Let me in. It’s better to be treated as nothing rather than know nothing. “**

\---

Since their conversation at the balcony, somehow they get better. Seunghyun slowly taking off his mask without worry while Jiyong, surprisingly, adapt it very well.

He doesn’t sulk like he did before. He even sometimes in very robotic-romantic way plays some song that makes Seunghyun feel less awful. And when Seunghyun is getting out of being that moody person, they would talk about a lot of things until late just like the time when they were still teenager.

It’s been three days since his lover is becoming his phone and even though they knew they should find a way to make Jiyong return to his body, they simply ignored it. And from Seunghyun’s side, he couldn’t help but being too attached to it.

It feels **_too_** right.

Having Jiyong as his human-boyfriend, one thing that he couldn’t do was tamed him down. His lover loves attention. Not only from him but everyone else. Seunghyun, knowing his possessiveness trait, is always trying his best to soothe it down. And now, with Jiyong being this portable, he can’t help it but loves every minutes of it.

He is selfish.

He knows it.

And Jiyong somehow, just **_let_** him.

\---

Five days of Kwon Jiyong’s disappearance finally get into the media. And still, Jiyong doesn’t say anything.

And for the very first time, Seunghyun felt wrong. 

“ Do you want to go back to your body?” He’s on his pajama. He put his right cheek on his pillow, giving Jiyong his serious face, looking straight to his lover.

The weirdest sound comes out from his phone. Maybe it ought to be chuckled. **“ Do you want me to go back to my body?”**

He doesn’t say anything.

To be honest, he likes it this way. But having Jiyong, the one that deserve to be on every big stage in the world, stuck on his phone isn’t something that makes him feel good too. And being selfish isn’t really his style.

It’s Jiyong.

“ Why you didn’t say anything this last five days?” It’s seriously bugging him off so much. He needs to get the answer. The president let him not become a leader is for a lot of reasons and his incapability to choose something is one of them.

And the bastard, somehow manipulatively make him do it.

**“ You look happy. That’s all.”**

He process the words and finally, he sigh heavily on the end. “ Please go back. I know you already know how to get back. “

**“ Are you okay with that?”**

He closed his eyes once more time. Enjoying the last minutes of having Jiyong only for himself. **“ Yeah.”**

\---

Jiyong said that after he let his phone died, he will return to his human self.

But it’s been 10 hours since his phone went off and nothing happened. He charged his phone when it got to 5 hours but when he talked to it. It does what Siri normally did.

There is no hint of Jiyong’s left.

\---

Two days and still, his lover isn’t show up.

And Seunghyun, never in his life, cried this hard. That he made a mistake of letting him go that easily. That he should know that Jiyong might not always be right. That maybe being **_selfish_** was so much better than this.

He should have known.

He should prevent this from happening.

He cursed himself before he cursed Jiyong for always being the selfish bastard. And somehow after he finished his rant with tears all over his face, just like a secret code of calling Jiyong, he felt someone hug him from behind.

“ Told you I’m back”

**Author's Note:**

> All the grammar error is mine to blame. I'll do better on the next part ^^ 
> 
> It inspired from "Zion. T - Eat". Please listen and watch the video, it's so good!  
> Thank you, I hope you enjoy it!


End file.
